Notes “The Porn Epidemic”

How Pornography Harms the User:

  • Obsession with pornography has been called society’s number one addiction
  • It is a form of addiction and changes an individual’s sexuality
  • Pornography is accessed by one out of three internet users
  • Pornography takes sexual attention and desire away from one’s spouse and focusses it on the pornographic material
  • Pornography destroys how we perceive sex because it is meant to be enjoyed by two individuals who have committed themselves to a relationship
  • Pornography has destroyed the contentment of people
  • A tendency may develop for watching increasingly violent and degrading forms of pornography

How Pornography Harms Your Partner:

  • Your partner may feel degraded by what you ask them to do as a result of watching porn. They may refuse to take part in such acts as well
  • Watching violent pornography may increase one’s desire to mimic the same with one’s partner
  • When a woman discovers that they are in a relationship with someone who is addicted to porn, they go through a host of experiences. They feel degraded, they can raise a whole host of insecurities around what have I done or not done that has supported this behavior 
  • The self-esteem of women becomes lower, their ability to engage their partner in whatever joy and pleasures they used to have decreases
  • Pornography can destroy the marriage. At the end of it, you find yourself physically and emotionally empty 

The Way Out:

  • The key is to recognize that it is an addiction and not just a bad habit. It requires specific, specialized attention
  • Take practical steps to avoid pornography. For example, don’t “surf” the net but sail
  • Use the internet purposefully. Do what you need to and then get off. 
  • Very often people fall into watching pornography when their idling on the internet
  • Real sex is far more fulfilling not only physically, but it is also emotionally fulfilling. It strengthens the marriage relationship
  • The important piece with treating this addiction is to close the door on pornography and open the door to real intimacy within the real relationship
  • Understand that the individual who avoids pornography is stronger than the person who falls into it

Some Spiritual Measures:

  • Sincere repentance is when you strive to leave the sin, feel remorse for having sinned and resolve not to return to it
  • Successful repentance entails identifying what is it in your life that causes you to fall into that sin and block the means between the sin and yourself. Leave sin in such a away that you never return to it
  • Ask Allah for forgiveness often. The person who persists in asking God for forgiveness is given a way out of every grief and difficulty and God will provide him/her with sustenance from unexpected sources (Abu Dawud & Musnad Ahmad) 
  • Use your computer or mobile device in places where you have reminders of God. For example, where there is wall decoration of the Quran 
  • Keep in a state of ritual purity. Maintain your wudu (ablution) throughout the day. It is a form of physical as well as spiritual cleansing
  • Fasting has been described by the Prophet (peace be upon him) as a shield (Bukhari). One can perform sunnah and optional fasts to lower curb one’s sexual desire
  • Do good deeds and keep the company of good people
  • Avoid staring at your private parts or the nakedness of other people
  • Avoid touching your private parts without a genuine need
  • Lower your gaze when interacting with unrelated members of the opposite gender

 

Resources:

• Video

The Science of Pornography Addiction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ya67aLaaCc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

• Web

Reviews of Porn Filters

Net Nanny

http://www.topconsumerreviews.com/internetfilters/detailed-reviews.php#net_nanny

McAfee Safe Eyes

http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/safe-eyes-review.html

McAfee Family Protection

http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/mcafee-family-protection-review.html

Anti-Porn

http://download.cnet.com/Anti-Porn/3000-27064_4-10207334.html

• Book

"The Porn Trap"

http://www.amazon.com/The-Porn-Trap-Overcoming-Pornography/dp/0061231878

 

 

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